Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
