fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
