I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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