It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
