Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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