There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
