I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
