Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just invented taco cereal.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
