No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
