I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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