Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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