I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
