You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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