You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
