Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
