she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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