New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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