Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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