Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
