hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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