Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
