bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
