did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
