Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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