She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
