I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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