im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think i have herpe
just one?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
