Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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