There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
