Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
