my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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