Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
