Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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