Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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