He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
