At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
