So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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