apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
