he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
