you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
