new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
