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So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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