Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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