Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
worst night to have a conscience
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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