she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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