ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
