nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
