I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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