so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
