Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
